Food, Glorious Food!

From the way I left this blog unattended, you'd think we were still on the highway, seeing the sights. Sadly, we returned home last Saturday after a 2 night stop over at my mom's outside of Shreveport, LA. I kept meaning to finish the road trip tale, but all I wanted to do at my mom's was sleep and eat. Speaking of eating...
My good friend Niki once told me her dad has a saying..."If you are at least 100 miles from home, what you eat in the way of calories does not count". Ok, sounds good to me!

What is it about eating unusual food and lots of food that makes someone (me) want to grab her camera and record for all to see? All I know is it's a good thing no one had a camera trained on me when, after choosing to eat chicken pot pie twice on the trip, I find out one serving has over 800 calories! Anyone who's worth their weight in "southernness" knows that chicken pot pie is not served or consumed with just one serving. Heck, you're not even full when you get down to the "pot"!

Did I mention this trip fell during the Easter holiday? Question: How many peeps can a 44 year old woman (who should know better) cram in her mouth before her 9 year old wonders aloud, "Hey, who ate all the peeps"? If it wasn't for that yellow sugar dusting my mouth, I'd still be in the clear.

And did I mention my sister Linda gave me 2 packages (12 count total) of marshmallow filled chocolate bunnies ? Would you care to guess how many the children ate? I'm ashamed to tell you the answer is two! At one point Corbin hinted, "Those marshmallow bunnies sure were good!". Operative word being were! All that remained were shiny green wrappers hidden deep under the passenger seat.
Somewhere close to the end of the journey, I decided enough was enough. Sure, it had been fun, ordering whatever I wanted, throwing caution to the wind (and watching it land on my backside). However, come Monday morning, I was determined to undo the damage, turn over a new leaf and eat healthy again.

I'm happy to report I've done just that! No more peeps, bunnies, or chickens in pie form will cross these lips for awhile!

A little less like Goldie Hawn...

.....and more like Angelina Jolie by midday on Tuesday. Thank you for the concern you all have shown. After you quit laughing, of course!

I'm happy to report the lips have shrunk back to their normal size, but I can empathize with the young boy in "A Christmas Story". You know, the one who sticks his tongue to the pole on the school playground in the dead of winter. I could swear that's where my bottom lip has been!

A few "Wally World" photos for your viewing pleasure:

We made it to Graceland!
Fred says he's never spent so much money to see a dead guy's stuff!

The Birds and the Bees

The Peabody Hotel in Memphis, TN has a time honored tradition involving ducks. Everyday at 11:00 am several ducks are escorted down the elevator from their 11th floor penthouse home. The elevator doors open and the ducks waddle down a short red carpet and hop into the lobby fountain and swim happily until 5:00 pm when they reverse their route and head back upstairs.

We arrived about 10:45 am on Wednesday to see the show as did about 100 other tourists. 11:00 came, the elevator doors opened, cameras were poised and out the cute little guys cames. The three of them waddled quickly to the fountain and jumped in.

If only I'd had my video camera filming what happened next. Apparently the mallard duck has been harboring "special" feelings for one of his fellow ducks. If you look closely at the photo, particularly under the mallard's beak, you'll see what was on his mind as soon as his webbed feet hit the water..... Needless to say, all the children surrounding the fountain thought they were "fighting" and laughed and laughed and laughed!

OK kids, that concludes our lesson on sex education.

Number one on the top ten list of things I never thought I'd do in a mall

To borrow from the last posting's title of "In theory it seemed like a good idea at the time"....

While Fred went to dinner in downtown Nashville with a friend, the kids and I headed to a nearby mall. Bliss for Gabbie and surely the highlight of the trip so far for her.

As we were leaving the mall around 8:30 pm, I noticed 2 people lying in dental-type chairs getting their teeth whitened with laser bleaching. I've been thinking about having this done for about a month and after a little bit of conversation with the technician I decided to go for it!

Pretty easy! Sit in the chair, bite down on trays filled with a solution, slip on a pair of glasses and let the pretty blue light do it's thing.

After 25 minutes I was astounded at the results! My teeth were truly 4 shades whiter! I marveled at the difference it made in my smile. Corbin and Gabbie marveled at the difference. Fred marveled at the difference.




And then I woke up this morning...

I don't know if I look more like a duck or Goldie Hawn in that movie where she has her lips done!

Whatever the case, I had some kind of reaction and benadryl IS NOT helping. A call to "LaserBright" let me know the same scenario has happened to others who had the inside of their lips inside the bleaching trays. The person I spoke with assured me it will be gone by tomorrow. TOMORROW?? You mean I have to look like I came to Nashville to have plastic surgery for the rest of the day?

I'll be sure to take a photo of my pretty teeth for you when I know you've stopped laughing long enough that the tears do not cloud your vision!

In theory, it sounded like a good idea

"Hey kids, we're on our way to Chattanooga, where Aunt Linda lives. You know, she lives so far from us, and you never get to spend any time with her and she's sure to have Easter gifts waiting for you".

Always one to give options, I continued, "Would you like to spend the night in a hotel again with me and dad or share a special evening with Aunt Linda? Did I mention she bought you lots of Easter Candy?

With the children safely tucked away with Aunt Linda and her cat, Chinny, Fred and I checked into The Chattanoogan Hotel. Beautiful, spacious room with 2 baths, an enormous living area and separate bedroom. Pretty much a suite with a sweet low price! All of this room, no arguing voices to referee, a martini for Leigh, cozy bathrobes and.....

On the eighth day...

...God created Gulf Shores, Alabama.

Guess who's NOT smarter than a fifth grader?

Somewhere close to Mobile, Alabama, I unplugged Corbin from the XBOX 360. I guess he had an itch to communicate so he rummaged through his "Spring Break Survival Bag" and brought out the paperback version of "Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?". Now we're talkin'...Fred's going to have his Brady Bunch moment, though without Gabbie who is deep into another movie on her iPod and only reachable in her back seat location via text messaging. To her credit, she did pop up towards the end of the game when a fraction question was proposed. Heck, she's smarter than all of us combined!

With Corbin standing in for Jeff Foxworthy, the questions began. The rules? First one to answer (correctly) gains a point.

Fred didn't stand a chance on the grammar questions, while Leigh faltered on math problems. Fred was somewhat better on geography but thanks to current "politically incorrect" behavior by the governor of New York and the corresponding media coverage, Leigh was able to correctly identify New York's capitol as Albany.

Corbin asked "How may syllables are in the word Mississippi?". Fred started counting and Leigh shouted out "Four!". Correct, of course, while Fred continued to use his fingers to count the count the LETTERS. Jeeesshhh!

The next question explained and many things about dear Freddie and those of you who have spent time with him will agree.

Corbin asked "The frontal lobe of your brain controls..." and gave the choices as:

A) your learning and decision making
B) your hearing and memory
C) your sense and touch
D) your sight

Leigh knew the correct answer was "A" and shouted it out. "Mom's right", confirmed Corbin.

And Fred? Well, Fred responded by asking "What were the choices again? I forgot and I couldn't hear ".
Once repeated to him, he answered "B" (your hearing and memory) . The irony is almost painful to witness.

Thank you that God balanced us well. I may be book smart, but my sweet husband is all about being street smart and business savvy.

"When are we gonna be there?"

One hour and 30 minutes into our 2,000 mile Spring Break Road Trip to Tennessee and other parts, Corbin let out a big sigh and asked "When are we gonna be there"? Fred and I simultaneously looked at our watches to record the time it took for one of the kids to ask that very question, both surprised it took so long.

Yes, folks, we loaded up the Durango, clamped on the luggage carrier, packed everything AND the kitchen sink, said a family prayer and headed out the driveway. We were on our way, embarking on our first true road trip. As we made our way down the street, we glanced back fondly, each saying a silent goodbye to the old homestead. Screeeeccchh......gotta go back.......the garage door was stuck halfway down. In true "Clark Griswold" fashion, we backed up and Fred /Clark spent the next 10 minutes pulling, tugging, kicking and cussing at the door to get it to fully close. Now we're off!

A week ago, Fred declared this a "no iPod", limited electronics trip. Say what? You mean I've spent weeks meticulously calculating the orchestration of ordering, burning, transferring and turning around 25 movies with Netflix just so YOU can have the All-American Brandy Bunch experience? What about the audio books waiting for me on my iPhone? I've been looking forward to hearing Valerie Bertinelli tell me all the gory details of her marriage to rocker Eddie Van Halen!

Ok, ok, he has a point. We are truly an "airplane" family: just get us to our destination as quickly as possible.
What's wrong with seeing the sights of 1-10 east for 8 hours? (don't answer that). Heck, we can talk, comment on passing motorists, play the license plate game and sing! SING....did someone say run to Best Buy and have XM radio installed?

So here we are, just about to enter my home state of Louisiana. Gabbie is sprawled out in the backseat, cozy in her blanket, finishing up the movie she began before the car was even started. Corbin has tried unsuccessfully to get the XBOX 360 to work on the DVD player, he's played his handheld "Deal or No Deal" game and is currently watching "Space Camp" on his new iPod. Thanks to modern technology, I'm blogging to you on Fred's laptop.

And Freddie? Well, he has the XM radio remote clutched tightly in his hand (just like home) and hasn't mentioned we should be singing "Kum Ba Yah" by now! Onward to Gulf Shores, Alabama, wholeheartedly electronically connected.